ON HAVING TO CORRECT MY MOTHER

I'm forever correcting my mother's accent. She emigrated from Hong Kong when she was 18 and has been studying English since grade one, but she still doesn't quite get all the colloquialisms. Just the other day, the following conversation took place:

MOM: “I wish he will fuck until her brains falls out!”

ME: “I thing what you mean to say, mom, is ‘I wish he'd fuck her brains out.’ I think that’s what you mean to say.”

She's usually pretty amenable to corrections, although sometimes she’ll get indignant and say in this exaggerated way, “I solly! I canna speake English!” And my response to this is always a simple, “Whatever mom.”