YES, I AM THAT CRABY LADY

I was strolling through a certain grocery store this morning when some puffy eyed kid with his thumb jammed in his mouth walked straight into my legs. No big deal, but it did kind of take me by surprise. I uttered some harmless phrase like, “Whoa, Jesus.” This happens to be a very generic expression for me. I use it indiscriminately for squirrels, hobos, dogs, and children. Plus, it was barely audible. It’s not like I dropped my jumbo box of Jr. Mints, clutched my shin and howled, “Jesus Fucking Christ!” Nonetheless, the mother of this child cocked her petite blonde head and said in her snottiest most exasperated voice, “Ah, I think you’ll get over it!”

I looked at her very sincerely and smiled. “Thanks, I already have.”