EMBARRASSING, BUT TRUE

Do you want to know something funny?

I thought this whole parenting thing would be a piece of cake.

Embarrassing to admit, but true.

It's not like I wasn't warned. I heard every hackneyed admonition. I was told to enjoy my sleep and freedom because things would change once the baby arrived. But then, the people offering these cliched morsels would throw their heads back and laugh. How was I to know their laughter was filled with irony?

Maybe I took too literally the pictures on the cover of Parents magazine at the OB-GYN office those nine months. I mean, there's nothing in those pictures to suggest that "new mom" hasn't slept or showered in three days.