DO NUNS HAVE WET DREAMS?

I like to document things. I wish I could fix a camera to my head, right between my eyes. I mean, life is too fucking interesting and I don't want to miss the colors and the atmosphere and the expressions on people's faces. These things are too precious and my little words would never be enough to capture it all.

I have had a dictaphone around for the last three years. I usually keep in my apartment, but I will bring it out if I know I'm going to be in good company. I have been listening to some of the older installments lately and they are really kind of raw. For example, I recorded the sound of numbers being dialed on a telephone when I made that fateful call to my husband in China, asking him for a divorce. I also recorded myself right after I hung up the phone. It was mostly incoherent blubbering. Once I recorded an entire evening spent in the company of a dutch apple pie. I spoke at length about the binge and purge process. Really, I recorded everything short of the actual yakking. I want to be on This American Life!

Mostly it's inane drivel. You know, questions like, "I wonder if nuns have wet dreams," or little observations like, "I have an older brother but I'm the first child."