FEED ME CONDIMENTS

We had a publishing representative in our office the other day. Whew! A foxy whiskered gentleman, that one...

Ahem.

Anyways, he treated the office staff to lunch (sandwiches/chips/cookies.) I'm not supposed to eat any deli meats (for fear of listeria) so I had to steer clear of the sandwiches. But I did consume an entire cup of dill pickle coins and then a cup of pepperoncini. Everyone was ogling me like I was having those crazy pregnant woman cravings, but shit, I would've eaten those things anyway.