DREAM TWO

I was walking through a brushy area. It must have been winter, because the bushes and trees were without leaves. I saw an injured blackbird. It was watching me with the one suspicious beady eye, winking every so often. I wanted to capture it, to heal its wounds, but we werenÂ’t speaking the same language. We shuffled around the brush a little, kicking up the sound of dead leaves. Because it was lame, I eventually caught it in my hands. It was quite obviously scared so I tried my best not to further tweak it out.

Now rewind to May 2003, almost a year ago to the day. Zoom in on the night I came home late. The night I woke up my husband and told him I think I made a mistake in marrying. That night I had a dream I was at The Museum and in room 375 I found an osprey with a broken wing and bloodied leg. I had to clean its cage and care for it but again with the language barrier. It was acting like I was going to kill it. I told myself to suck it up and deal with witnessing its stress now, in hopes that I could heal it and make it happier for the future, for its own sake.

This is how I perceive my marriage. It's like an injured bird, a broken wing. I'm just trying to minimize added stress and damage.