THE BAD NEWS

I told my environmental science classes to come up with a topic for their final paper over the weekend and have it ready for me on Monday. My student C only came up with a lengthy list of excuses. He recited this list from memory. Isn’t that impressive? I met each excuse with a counter argument. His last, desperate round sounded something like this, “Well I didn’t even want to take this course! None of this interests me! I came here to be an auto mechanic! I don’t give a shit about the impact of fossil fuels! Wah! Wah! Boo! Boo!” Now, imagine a grown man without his front teeth saying this.

Seriously. Do it.

When he was finished with his tantrum, I gave him a look. A look that said, hey do you know what bub? I'd rather be in Australia taking pictures of bower birds right now. I would rather don a pair of wellies and stomp around in a swamp counting tree frogs all day. I’m “not interested” in getting up at 5:30 every morning to deal with the likes of you, but you know what? I have to do it. Because I made a choice a long time ago that I want to eat. Now, I’ve given you several ideas for your paper. I’ve seen your resistance and I’ve taken a few steps towards you, but that’s all I am going to do. I’m not your mommy. I’m not going to spoon feed you this information and I'm sure as hell not going to make airplane noises and swooping gestures to entertain you. This is school not television. And if you continue to resist and make excuses, the only person you are going to make it difficult for, is yourself.

It took a lot of practice in front of the mirror to get that particular look down.