THIS NATIONAL HOLIDY IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY HALLMARK

This morning I walked to work to the tune of Jeane by The Smiths. “And I don’t believe in magic anymore, Jeane.” The newly fallen snow was so dense it almost looked green in some spots. On my way home I was stopped by a smartly dressed thirty something man. He had an accent and if I had to guess, I would say he was from the Middle East. He told me he had seen me walking down the street once before and wanted to ask me out. Incredulously I ask, “You mean out on a date? Like, romantically?” He replied, “Yeah, you know, like love and forever and ever.” I politely declined. I told him I was on my way to the flower shop to buy my boyfriend something for Valentines Day. “Oh, you are taken?” Yes, quite taken.

And then. As I walked through the park I noticed an older man and a boy, nine years of age. The older man asked me if I would like a valentine heart candy. It looked like they were just randomly handing them out. I helped myself to a white one (because those are the very best) and then popped it in my mouth. I probably shouldn't accept candy from strangers so willingly, but I was secretly hoping it was laced with LSD.

Sadly, it was not.