I'M NOT STUPID, HONEST!
The doctor probably took me for a sex-education-less-back-country-rube who believes babies are delivered by that crazy stork who sells Vlasic Pickles. He asked me to list my symptoms. So I say: I'm tired all the time, I'm nauseous all the time, I have to get up in the middle of the night to pee...
He gives me this unforgettable look as he thrusts a small plastic urine sample cup into my hand.
S'okay, duah. But the reason I was so surprised is because I have been using the Nuva Ring for about two full years. It's as effective as the pill (99.9%) but you can't fuck it up and forget to take a dose, because you wear it in you pikachu. I mean what are the chances of getting pregnant?
0.1% apparently.
3 Comments:
0.1!!!
Is this a secret that only we know or have you told your family? If so, how did your mom react? Was everyone else excited? Are you excited? What about the Steady? Thinking of names yet? Are you ready for this? Just curious.
-Anon
12/09/2008
Oh dear. There's so much to say! I think once we got over the initial shock, our excitement grew. It has been growing since. Funny thing: I just assumed I was barren and The Steady thought he was sterile. We have both been less than careful with partners past, but those moments never ended in a zygote (thank god). But now this happens? With the $30/month brand name birth control that touts 99.9% efficacy? Who is this person insisting on existence? Well whoever it is, I enjoy its tenacity.
12/09/2008
You are something. The "this person insisting on existence" part I love. A huge heart felt congratulations to you and dad. A few posts ago, looking back, after a few glasses of wine or maybe more, and seeing a competition, I made a crude guess as to your current state of affairs. Shamelessly, I credit myself with one of my guesses and maybe, if such things are important to you, both. Be nice, it's the only contest I've won in like, a million years. Sorry to momentarily make this about me. Anyway get ready to find out why you were placed here on earth. An interviewer once asked Johnny Dep shortly after having his first child, was it the biggest thing that ever happened to him. He answered, It's the only thing that has ever happened to him. Anyway you look at it it's pretty darn nice.
12/09/2008
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