FIGHTS DIRTY

The Steady and I got into a little row last night. I was so miffed about the whole thing that I ate all the chocolate out of his Neopolitan ice cream. Yup, I showed him.

CONFLICTED

My mother-in-law (god bless her!) drives me crazy. She always agrees to tea when she comes over and then drinks no more than one sixteenth of the glass. she constantly complains about her hair falling out and she takes more trips to the bathroom than I did when I was eight months pregnant. So I'm rolling my eyes and biting my tounge all weekend when she goes out and buys Freedom, the latest Jonathan Franzen book in lovely and very expensive hard cover, as a gift for absolutely no particular reason.

Suddenly I'm an asshole .

LITTLE SMARTYPANTS

My son pointed at my crotch this morning and declared: No penis!
Well, I'm glad we got that sorted out.

CAT FOOD

Cats have a reputation for being clean but ours are notoriously messy eaters. I'm constantly sweeping around their dishes, but I don't want to be wasteful so I usually dump the swept stuff back in their dishes. I felt a little guilty about doing this tonight since there were bits of hair and fuzz and Christ knows what else mixed up with the spilled food. But before I started feeling too bad, I was reminded that they lick their own butts.

Now I'm okay with it.

NEW PHONE

I'm composing this post from a telephone.
...And no, not the rotary kind.