It's bad when you are looking forward to your morning cup of coffee and it's 11:30 at night, right!?

BIRDS EAT APPLES

I am eating a honey crisp apple that I picked from my very own apple tree.

STATIC CLING

I felt like that lady on the Bounce commercials today. You know, the one who didn't use Bounce.

OH BLITHE YOUTH

I had my cholesterol tested a few weeks ago. I have heard nothing from them. I suppose the clinic would send an ambulance directly to my house if the results were bad, but I would still like to know what the numbers are all the same.

The last time I had it tested I was about 22 years old. My total count was 120. My doctor wrote "Good Job!" at the top as though it were a math test or something. Please, I still posted that shit up on my fridge. I was probably eating a full frozen pizza every other day for dinner back then and chicken pot pies for breakfast. Oh blithe youth!