3 BIDS...FOR WISDOM

I put a bid in for three things in the past month.  

1) One, I was nominated for.  

2) One, I was encouraged to apply.  

3) One, I was selected to represent.

For three different reasons, the Powers That Be decided I wasn't their girl. I could blame myself for my failure to advance, but when I consider all I put together, I can honestly say I was true to myself and did my best work. Don't get me wrong, I have feelings about it. I won't pretend I'm not disappointed or sad. I can recognize those feelings without letting them eat me up because...I just don't believe I am entitled to anything.  

Also, I don't necessarily believe hard work gets you things. I mean, certainly doing no work will get you nothing (unless you are an heiress or heir), but sometimes people work their asses off and still get nothing.  I just finished reading Matthew Desmond's Poverty, By America.  It's about the policies and systems that keep some people poor and other people rich.  It's a good reminder that there are limits to what we can achieve and there are a lot of forces outside ourselves that we can't control.

Instead of getting upset about those things, I'm going to focus on the fact that I am lucky in love.  I had so many people supporting and encouraging me, wishing me luck, and sending love when When I leave this planet, I'm not going to dwell on the speeches I didn't make, the competitions I didn't win, or the impressive salary I never collected.  Instead I am going to be grateful for the people I loved and who loved me.  Being good to people, and cultivating authentic relationships, is something that I have some control over.  This is the lesson I'm choosing to take from this experience.