EXPECTATIONS MET

I bike commute to work most days.  The route I take is either a scenic eight-miles that runs along a body of water, or else it's a direct six-miles that cuts straight through the city center.  Today I took the city streets.  Traveling down a one-way in a bike lane, an old, light-blue sedan approach the red light with me. But after pausing a moment, it just roll through.  Naturally I was irritated because I sometimes get heat from non-cyclists complaining that bikers are always breaking the rules, when I see far more motorists break laws.  There are many traffic lights on this stretch of road so I see the car go a ways and then do the same thing at the next red light, and then the next, and then the next.  Since none of us are going very fast, I am able to keep this person in my sights even though they keep pulling ahead with each red light they blow.  Eventually I get to a spot where I see them pull a U-turn and park their car.  I stop my bike because I want to see this person who clearly lives above the law.  I stop my bike to gawk.  Who are they?!?

The person that emerges is a white lady wearing black cropped pants and a loud pink and black patterned nylon shirt.  She has a belly that hung like sourdough from her shirt and kind of swayed and she moved.  But the thing that I really found arresting about her sartorial sense, she had a neck gaiter that extended from her collarbone all the way up to the top of her head.  Her hair was a tuft, sprouting out the top and she wore these enormous sunglasses so you couldn't see her face at all.  I couldn't have asked for a more perfect answer to the question, "Who are you, outlaw??"