DOORS THAT CLOSE

I just found out an hour ago that the thing I was nominated for...was given.  More on that later.  Maybe.  

Meanwhile I have processed/made peace with the thing I was selected to represent, but didn't advance in.  It was a regional speech competition that was judged. I was one of forty-five participants and I did not get past the preliminary round, which honestly surprised me a bit. For one, the competition at the regional level wasn't as stiff as it was at the university level. So that was perplexing. Also, there were nine competitors in the room, three judges, and three randos in the back, and of all the people in that room, no fewer than six came up to me afterwards and said, "yours was my favorite" or "I can't believe you didn't advance." One person who came up to me after the event was actually one of the judges. She told me why they didn't select me and it turns out they had based their decision on a misunderstanding of the rubric. I know this because I checked with an organizer later.  But I'm truly not really all that disappointed about it. I'm sure if I really sat and thought about it, I could find some way to make myself miserable, but I'm just...not.

The third thing, the one where I was encouraged to apply, I had some serious reservations about, so although some components of that opportunity would have been exciting, I'm secretly relieved.  I met with a friend that I had not seen in over ten years and she said something very wise to me.  'Sometimes door that close have nothing to do with you.'