TRANSCRIPTIONS

Last April 12 in the company of much beer, my friend and I hacked out five things we wanted to accomplish/experience before turning thirty. Here's my list (I still have the bar napkin):

1. Punch someone in the face
2. Perform live music in a band
3. Trip on Peyote for days
4. Give birth to a child *
5. Create a video/audio documentary

It's been more than a year and I have not checked anything off yet! Besides, numbers three and four are no longer desirable. Number five however, has seen some exploration. I returned to my hometown last fall to interview an old high school classmate of mine. At the time he was working at Cinnabon in the mall. I even interviewed his mother the following day, but that’s when the charm expired and my gumption turned back into a pumpkin. To sort of kind of make up for such a sorry end, I’ve been toting around a little audio tape recorder for the last few months. At first I started collecting sounds, like the sound of snow being walked on or coffee percolating or my cat purring in feline ecstasy. But now I find myself recording conversations and random thoughts and although they are unspeakably retarded, I will share some of the transcriptions here when I can’t think of anything better to write.

Things like: “I think this whole free will thing is kind of…a pain in the ass.”

* Funny that I bothered to write "to a child." As though I could give birth to something other than another human. Like a sweet potato, or a dik dik, or the antichrist.