THIS WASTED LIFE

So I’m making my bed today around 5:00 PM when I find this sticky spot in the sheets. Only, it’s not a yummy-sexy-sticky. It’s more like a high-fructose-corn-syrup-sticky. I turn my blankets inside out in search of the source when I’m suddenly confronted with the confectionery culprit: A Jr. Mint mashed into one of my pillows. Then I remember coming home late last night (oh somewhere between 1:30 and 2:00 AM) thinking to myself, “Boy I’d sure like me some Junior Mints!” The poor little guy probably tried to escape, only to be crushed by my boozed body. What a wasted life.