YELLOW FEVER

In preparation for my trip to Ecuador I went to a travel clinic to get my ass vaccinated. Again, I don't have health insurance so I'm a little more aware of the cost/value during my visit. I paid $125 to sit down with a very nice young man who printed about four or five pages off a World Health Organization website. He sat across from me and read through the pages and put little stars next to the word 'Imodium' and wrote the word 'no' next to schistosomiasis. Excellent. Real nice guy. Oh, he also told me not to drink green water. Okay, check.

Then I paid $250 so a plump nurse in kitten print scrubs could inject a live yellow fever virus into my upper left arm. I asked her if she had any Grover of Sesame Street Band-Aids or at least generic dinosaur Band-Aids. But alas, she had none. Of course, I was crushed.