THE HONEST TRUTH

Last night The Steady and I went camping. One bottle of wine and a six pack of Lunar Ale later, I fell and bruised both my knees. But hey it was dark and my head lamp was going out and the path was positively thick with tree roots.

Oh yeah, and I was drunk.

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

I was having a hard time coming up with a name for Le Petit Chat. I have finally settled on Nori, as in the seaweed wraps for sushi, but I can't just call her that. I also like to refer to her as Chicken, Pickle, Cricket, Jr. mint, or Little Britches. And sometimes when she's super gassy, I call her Venezuelan Beaver Cheese.

What can I say, she farts a lot.
It's a good thing she's so cute.

HERE KITTY-KITTY

Almost three weeks ago The Steady and I went to the nearest animal shelter and I picked out a kitty cat. She’s a sleek black thing with white paws. She’s a lover too. A mob of groping toddlers couldn’t satiate her need to be petted. And oh my god, the kid could talk a monk out of his silence vows.

TURPITUDE

Once, during a frantic binge-purge session, I jammed a spoon into a pint of very frozen ice cream and somehow managed to bend it backwards until it resembled a crack spoon.

Isn’t that so poetic?

ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER

I actually had to exclaim this in class today: “Jared, please turn around in your seat and stop playing with that hole in the wall!”

I teach at a college.

I know adding and subtracting polynomials isn’t the most exciting thing in the world, but I’d like to think it’s a little more interesting than a bloody hole in the wall.

CHECK BACK

I got the full time teaching position. Yay!
I've been working my tiny hiney off. Boo!

I'm going to have to take a little break from writing (and eating and sleeping and leisure reading and drinking beer). At least until things settle. Check back in a few weeks time. Kisses!

DREAM SEVENTEEN

This evening I took my last dose of anti-malaria medication. The travel clinic I visited back in July offered me three varieties of anti-malaria pills. Since I was without medical insurance, I decided to go with the cheaper brand. Sure, I might have to deal with the side effects, but I only had to shell out $60 as opposed to $120.

What are the side effects, you ask?

Vivid dreaming.

And boy howdy, they mean it.

Last night I dreamt I had a page of scratch-n-sniff butterfly stickers. Naturally, I wanted to know what the butterflies smelled like so I scratched them and when I did, they lifted themselves from the page and flew around my head.

DREAM SIXTEEN

Last night I dreamt I was peeling a banana when actually I was peeling a giant chunk of marzipan in the shape of a banana.

SPLIT ROCK #2

SPLIT ROCK #1