FAMILY FAULTS
A very good friend of mine just found out that her parents are not her true, biological parents. It's like she lived on a fault line her whole life without knowing it. And then suddenly, at thirty, the tectonic plates slid beneath her feet without warning or consent.
4 Comments:
As a child adopted at birth, I have always appreciated my parents not keeping it a secret.
Still, as hard as it must have been to find out, I can't imagine at thirty how it could change her life much.
It's my opinion our parents are the people who raise us. That hasn't changed for her.
4/30/2008
Yes absolutely. And her parents, two people who earned that title because they raised her, are really good people. But it was sort of an intra-family adoption which makes me wonder if all the secrecy stems from shame.
To elaborate, she was not informed in a mature, respectful way. Instead she was left to ferret out the truth on her own.
So, if there is any shame associated with someone's birth, especially someone I love like my own sister, I guess that kind of bugs me. I just don’t like lies.
Ach, but it’s not really my place to say…
5/01/2008
Oh I can certainly understand her pain, and yours. I just hope she doesn't throw the baby out with the bath water.
Obviously I don't know the circumstances of this situation but I do know times were different thirty years ago. I hope she doesn't apply today's standards to the decisions they made then. Even if they handled the situation poorly, thirty years of love and effort have to prove it was with good intentions.
Sorry, I don't mean to harp on this but it hit a soft spot with me :)
5/01/2008
I totally get what you're saying and I appreciate your comments. Selfishly, I am happy things turned out as they did. Perhaps I wouldn't have known her otherwise.
5/01/2008
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