SHOOT, THAT'S NOTHING

I hardly weigh myself anymore. I am not trying to lose or gain weight, so the activity is kind of pointless. But every once in a while, I will do it several days in a row until inevitably I lose interest and stop.

It's like flossing.

And so I weighed myself on Friday and I came in at 144 lbs. And then I checked again on Monday and I was 149 lbs. I know I ate a lot of peanut M&Ms on Saturday night, but five pounds?? Intrigued, I weighed myself again today (Tuesday) and now I am 145 lbs. So I gained five pounds over the weekend and then lost four pounds in one day. What is that?? Poop? And water?

It must be poop and water.

And I love it when people go on diets for like, a week, and then report, "I have been eating egg whites and air for seven days and I lost three whole pounds!!" Fuck, that's nothing. Apparently I can poop and sweat four pounds in a single day!