ARE YOU MY MOTHER?

My mom took a good look at Oscar before she said, "he doesn't really look like you." I suppose of all people, my mom would know. So now I wonder if he's really mine.

The Steady thinks we should all be guests on Maury Povich. During the show, I would be subjected to a maternity test. Within the hour it would be revealed that The Steady secretly planted a fertilized egg in my womb. The egg would belong to some hussy named Darla who didn't want to ruin her body with pregnancy. Just think of the ratings...