IT WENT A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS:

Around 2:30 AM I reluctantly poked The Steady. He rolled out of bed and showered off the grass stains from the night before while I shoved odd items into a bag. I meant to have my hospital bag packed and ready to go, but fifteen days before my official due date I had not gotten around to it.

We stopped off at the video store on our way to the hospital to drop off a movie we rented. I think it was Religulous with Bill Maher. Good flick.

The hospital is a quick two miles from our house. We actually spent more time trying to find an entrance to the hospital once we parked. We checked into a room and a nurse came in to confirm my labor. The amniotic fluid on her shoes seemed convincing. It was a little after 4:00 AM so we roamed the quiet halls. At one point we stopped at McDonald's so The Steady could buy something that resembled food and coffee. He paid while I anxiously leaked amniotic fluid near the fountain drinks.

The doctor didn't arrive until about 7:30 AM. She told me I was not progressing fast enough and recommended I be induced with Pitocin. I wanted to avoid the use of Pitocin, but she insisted. I was hooked up to a machine and in less than an hour I was bellowing like a musk ox. Holy shit, I have never felt pain like that in my life. So the next big question was: Should I have an epidural? Again, I wanted to avoid the epidural because 1) it keeps you on your back which can stall labor and 2) I wanted to be able to feel what was going on during the pushing stage. That's what it said in my birth plan anyway.

Fuck that.

It took an hour for the anesthesiologist to hook me up. At this point it's about 12:30 PM and my parents arrived. The next 8 hours were pretty uneventful. I drifted in/out of sleep while my parents and husband made a) comments about the contractions on the little ticker tape machine next to my bed and b) frequent trips to the vending machine.

"Ooo, that was a big contraction. Did you feel that one?"

"Does anyone else want another cup of coffee?"

Around 8:00 PM I finally reached 10 centimeters. I kept waiting for the doctor to arrive, but she was too wrapped up in a game of Minesweeper at the nurses station to be bothered. So, I started pushing with one of the nurses and The Steady. He helped with counting and encouragement. What can I say? The birth of my son felt like it took 20 minutes when it actually took two hours. The Doctor did finally arrive at some point. They put him in my arms as soon as The Steady cut the umbilical cord. His eyes were wide open. He was beautiful and pink and beautiful. My son and I, we were both so tired from the labor that we slept six hours that night. I haven't slept so many consecutive hours since.