HEY, YOU RIDE A BIKE LIKE A GIRL!

Sometimes I ride my bike to work.  I only live about five miles from the college so in order to make it worthwhile (packing clothes/toiletries and getting sweaty) I usually take the long way in.  One particular route is about twenty-three miles.  Most of the people on the trails are commuters like me, or else they are retired guys with a lot of time on their hands and almost no leg hair.  Anyway, nobody is going terribly fast and so I pass most people traveling the same direction I'm headed.  Oh, and I'm also a competitive asshole.  But I think I already mentioned that once before.

Most of the passing happens without incident, but there have been a significant number of times when I have passed a dude (in a natural way (by that I mean I don't accelerate)) and when I do he acts as if I just castrated him in front of his children.  I mean, I might be reading too much into it, but it happens the same way every time:

1. He glances over and sees that someone is passing
2. He looks again and takes in the fact that he's getting passed by a chick
3. He speeds the fuck up because #2 is completely unacceptable
4. After about a mile of me drafting off him, because I am a shameless opportunist, he suddenly has to stop to check his tire pressure or adjust his seat or eat a granola bar.

So a few weeks ago I'm on the path and I come up behind this guy.  He's really cute.  Rosy cheeks, with wire frames.  And nerdy.  But also curiously ripped.  Anyway, I come up on his left and even though I have earbuds in and have no intention of chatting him up, I nod and say 'morning' as I go past.  It seems like the polite thing to do.  He says something to me, but it's in audible.  So I pull one ear bud out and say, 'pardon?'  He repeats, 'you just caught me in the middle of an interval.'

It took me a second to understand that he was making an excuse for why I, a girl, was able to pass him.  For a few seconds we are riding side-by-side, with half of my headphones in my hand, and all I could say to him was, 'whatever dude.  I just want to get to work.'  Because that's a weird thing to say to a total stranger, right?  Who goes around describing their workout routine?  And then he sped up and passed me.  And then, about a mile later he stopped on the side of the road.  Wouldn't you know it.