BEST FUCKING DAY EVER!

I received an email this week about an all personal meeting I missed last week. Apparently gift buckets of cookies were distributed to the staff and faculty and, "would those who missed the meeting please come up to the HR office and collect their cookie bucket, already? Assholes?" I have no idea what I'm to do with a bucket of cookies but I had to get some other things from HR anyways, so I go up. The person I was seeking was on holiday, but I did find an empty cubicle teeming with cookies. I asked the only woman in the office if I could take one; I had suddenly realized I could give them to the homeless guy who hangs out by the freeway. She asked me if I was full time and I tell her, no. She says she's sorry, I do not get a cookie bucket. I'm laughing because she's standing in the middle of this cubicle, quite literally up to her ass crack in cookies telling me I can't have a single one.

As I'm leaving, she asks me what my name is. I tell her and she consults her 'extra special person cookie list' and Lo! I'm on it! I get a fucking cookie bucket after all! Best fucking day ever! I ate one and gave the rest to the freeway man.