EX-QUEEZE ME? DID YOU JUST DO WHAT I THINK YOU DID?

Someone grabbed my gut for the first time tonight without my consent. It was at a party and it completely caught me off guard. It all happened so fast. It was over and done with before I had a chance to slap her hand away or even utter, "What the f***?!" This woman, someone I met once before, has three children of her own and so, you think she would know better. But she's one of those parents who absolutely adores being a mommy and thinks everyone should procreate because it is just the Best! Thing! Ever!

I gnawed on the straw of my root beer, silently seething.