LIKE, WATEVER!

Usually my classes are 100% male, or else they are 99% male and 1% female. You get the idea. But this quarter I have one class that is 60% female and 40% male! I have never had such a ratio in all my years at this college and I was rather excited about the newness of it.

But now I realize, I'm a little rusty when it comes to dealing with women students, at least as far as conduct goes. I have had a lot of experience telling my guy students to quit burping, farting, spitting, and scratching their balls in class, as it is considered unprofessional behavior. I guess it never occurred to me that women might also have certain unsavory behaviors as well. Let's say for example, the incorrigible chatter, and the coltish hair tossing, and the eye rolling, and the general attitude, and the cattiness.

Oh cripes, the cattiness!

On the second or third day of class I was talking about the difference between technology and science. You know, science is a process while technology is a tool that makes tasks easier. To illustrate my point, I asked them to go back to the Pleistocene and imagine a Neanderthal using a stone to scrape meat from a mammoth hide. That stone might make her task easier, but she had to employ the scientific method in order to find the best rock for the job.

Heads nod and I am encouraged. So I go on to recommend Jane Auel’s Clan of the Cavebear partly because it is so well researched and partly because I found it such an interesting read. I'll admit, I began to ramble when talking about the book. Eventually I stopped and laugh at myself for getting so carried away. I cut myself off by waving my hands and saying, “Oh well, anyway, you would love it if you were into cave men and mammoths and stuff like that!” As soon as those words escaped my mouth, I heard a female voice from the back of the room in perfect valley girl pitch quietly but audibly exclaim, “Huh, like, not really!”

I don't know, maybe you had to be there, but her cadence and timing was impeccable.