CHILDISH EXCLAMATIONS

Lately when my son hears something he can't believe he says one of two things:

1. That blows my mind up!

2.  Hub-a-whaaaaa?

AC

We put a window AC unit in the day before yesterday, because, well (gah), it's hot. So now half of our house is humid and hot and the other half smells like a hotel room.

HANDS OFF PARENTING

We went to Toys R Us for the first time today...ever. It was, well, overwhelming. Have you been? The things I found most remarkable were the "bouncy" chairs/swings. Some of them pitched, rolled, bounced, and vibrated. The were also equipped to serenade your child to sleep with ten lullabies and five "nature sounds.". Not that I'm some shining example of attachment parenting, but to look at these machines you would think that one could drop $180 and avoid holding and/or singing to their child for at least the first three years of life. That's impressive.

PENNY PINCHING

For the past four years we have been living on my income alone.  Let me cure you of the misconception that college instructors make piles of money: I got a letter in the mail the other day informing me that we are eligible for the federal WIC program.  I don't want to make it sound like we are scratching the poverty line, because we are not.  But let's just say that money has been tight these past few years.  My husband has been in school and graduated this spring.  Once he finds a job I can stop doing things like cutting our sponges in half, using toilet paper as facial tissue, and letting the yellow "mellow" before flushing. We will, however, continue to drink Hamm's. The consumption of this beverage has become something of an institution at our house.

GIMMIE FICTION

I am on maternity leave this summer and promised myself I would put time aside to read. Since I am in school now, I usually have my nose in a textbook or a scientific journal if I have my nose in anything at all. Typically when I do read for "fun" it's almost always nonfiction. It's not because I enjoy nonfiction more, quite the contrary. I think it is because I feel I can learn more from nonfiction (not always true, of course) and so that makes fiction somehow something one indulges in. I keep telling myself I will read more fiction when I retire or land in jail. Neither scenario terribly likely. But this summer is special. I told myself, go ahead read whateverthehell You want. And so I did. This is what I have consumed so far:

1. The Red Convertible by Louise Erdrich
2. The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
3. Granta #123
4. 20 Under 40: Stories from the New Yorker
5. Wild by Cherly Strayed
6. Four Fish by Paul Greenberg
7. Cat's Eye by Margaret Atwood

I have room on my dance card for one or two more...

8. Granta #124
9. Consider the Lobster by David Foster Wallace

SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE (OTHER THINGS DO)

Things that have changed: 1. We have a daughter. She is seven weeks old. 2. I have been accepted in a graduate program. (I finally took the GRE!) 3. I no longer have a wacked out relationship with food. Things that have not changed: 1. My place of employment. 2. My love of shitty beer. 3. My obsessive-compulsive trying to make order out of chaos brain.

ROADKILL SANDALS

I have pair of Birkenstock sandals from, like, 1999. My ex-husband had them re-soled once. That's how old they are. I bought them a lifetime ago. Now they are really ratty and full of holes and the backing has fallen out. The leather is so worn and stiff it looks like I strapped two dead squirrel carcases to mt feet.