I'M TOO SEXY FOR THE LAW

I'm biking home from work yesterday, coming up to a red light when I sense this person in a car behind me trying to crawl up into my ass. If you bike a lot in the city you may appreciate the unspoken passive-aggressive tension that exists between cyclists and motorists. I hate to contribute to the melee, but to date I have been randomly yelled at, swerved into, and run over. I have even had rocks thrown at me. I know my rights as a cyclist and I'm not going to take any shit. So anyway, I'm turning left and princess impatient comes up on my right in a sleek black car blaring some strident, canned mass produced R&B garbage music. I glance over to find a single, excessively groomed white girl in designer sunglasses. She yells to me in her best bitchy shopping mall voice, "why don't you, like, stay on the sidewalk?" I replied very simply, "because it's illegal." Unfortunately, the whole concept of legality seems lost on her because she then proceeds to take an illegal right hand turn on a red light. To her taillights I say in a plain voice, more to myself than anyone else: Girl, you're making us all look bad.