ADVENTURES IN HORRIBLE PARENTING

Life got really busy again.  In order to complete my graduate degree I have to intern at an institution that deals with PH in some way or another.  S'okay.  This summer I am attempting to stuff 135 hours into an unpaid internship on top of my job and my parental duties.  My commute is no longer 13-15 minutes one way.  It is now 75 minutes one way and it includes four modes of transportation.  I don't have time to exercise (which is more about mental health for me than physical health) and I don't have time for grocery shopping.  I don't have time to drink.  I don't have time for anything.

Two weeks ago in a fit of desperation, I attempted to take my kids to the YW during our usual dinner time.  I asked my husband to meet us there.  I had our family car and he rode his bike to work, so we were going to put his bike on the car top carrier and then go out for dinner afterwards.

Things did not go as planned.

The kids were a mess, my son especially.  He wanted to buy a $2 Luna Bar from a vending machine.  I tried to reason with him.  I told him he could by TWO Luna Bars for $2 if he just waited fifteen minutes.  Also, I didn't want him to wreck his appetite on-what is essentially a candy bar-just minutes before dinner.  He fussed and complained.  I patently said, no.  He cried and pulled at my arm, (something I find terribly irritating) but I stuck with my answer.  But the further we walked from the vending machine, the louder his protesets became.  And then for some reason, my daughter joins the general mood and starts to cry.

I packed my mewling brood into the car as my husband fixed his bike to the top.  He told me he would walk along side the car and warn me if it didn't clear the ceiling of the parking ramp.  Once I'm in the car, my boy is still complaining fiercely so I wrench my body around in the drivers seat and say this (read in a crescendo):

The world is full of insults.  You need to learn to COPE when thing in life don't go your way!  Because you are going to encounter problems MUCH more difficult and painful then MISSING OUT  ON A FUCKING! LUNA!! BAR!!!

After releasing that pressure valve, I untwisted my body to face the front.  It was at that time that I noticed the family of three, a mother and two school-aged children.  They were staring at me like they were on an Arfican Safari, but instead the wild animal was INSIDE the vehicle.  We locked eyes for a few awkward moments as they slowly walked past the front of my car.

But the cherry on the sundae was this, as I slowly drove through the parking ramp, I hear my husband yell, "Wren, stop!" and a microsecond later I hear his bike AND the car-top-carrier as it is sheared off the top of our car.

The End.